Tuesday, March 28, 2006
To enjoy peace of mind, do your best to become the best you are capable of becoming
I saw the ugliest college basketball game I have seen in many years last Saturday afternoon. Some of you probably saw it as well. UCLA defeated Memphis State 50 to 45 to advance to the final four in the NCAA tournament -- "March Madness". It was the least number of points scored in an NCAA tournament game since the shot clock was instituted back in the early eighties. Neither UCLA nor Memphis State could, as Chick Hearn used to say, "Throw a pea in the ocean." Both teams threw up enough bricks to construct a small building. Now, there was a reason for this. Both teams, but especially UCLA, played the most stifling defense I have seen in a long time. They simply would not give Memphis State an uncontested shot and held them to 45 points where they normally would score in the eighties. Some people may have found the game boring because of the low score and absence of three-pointers swishing through the net, but I personally found it to be very exhilarating. Playing good defense is very demanding and requires great discipline and hard work. I admire UCLA's coach, Ben Howland, for teaching and inspiring his players to work so hard at this most important part of the game. Offense comes and goes but the one constant a great team can control is the defense.
I don't know whether UCLA will win the national championship but I give them a good shot at it because of their toughness and willingness to sweat and work hard at playing defense. I also do not believe that their "success" necessarily depends upon them winning the championship. I would imagine that John Wooden, the former UCLA coach who won the NCAA championship Game 10 times out of 10 appearances, would say that this year's team, whether they win or lose, has been one of the most successful in the great UCLA tradition. John Wooden, I believe, was the greatest basketball coach of all time. Still alive in his early nineties, he is a man of great character who always saw himself as a teacher as opposed to a coach. In fact he was an English teacher at one time and was almost persuaded to make it his profession instead of coaching basketball. He never felt that winning was necessarily equated with success. His definition of success is classic and deserves to be pondered and hopefully applied: "Success is peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best you are capable of becoming." [John R. Wooden]
I am sure this is not UCLA's most talented team of all time. However, I get the feeling they are doing their best to become the best they are capable of becoming. That should bring them great peace of mind and self-satisfaction whether they ultimately win or lose. Of course, this definition of success is not limited to basketball but to all aspects of human endeavor. We grow up falsely thinking that winning the game, making lots of money, being very popular, having an extremely high GPA, obtaining higher degrees etc., being called to high profile positions in the Church, or even converting lots of people in the mission field constitutes success. I believe Coach Wooden's definition of success puts things into proper perspective -- SUCCESS IS PEACE OF MIND... KNOWING YOU DID YOUR BEST TO BECOME THE BEST YOU ARE CAPABLE OF BECOMING!
I think many of us, if not careful, may buy into the world's competitive vision of success and in doing so never ever experience the peace of mind that comes from doing the best we can with what we have been given. We may be short sighted enough to compare ourselves with others which is never a very intelligent thing to do. There will always be those more handsome, beautiful, talented, or intelligent than we, or unbelievably, those who are less handsome, beautiful, talented, or intelligent than we. If we measure our success in life by how we compete and compare to others we will be using a false standard. Only as we maximize that which we have been given, that which is uniquely ours, to the highest degree possible, will we ever know the peace of mind and self-satisfaction that is the essence of true success. I believe most of us tend to live far below our own potential because we have bought into measuring our success by the standard the world has set.
John Wooden put it this way: "Now, we're all equal there [in our capacity to do our best]. We're not all equal as far as intelligence is concerned. We're not equal as far as size. We're not all equal as far as appearance. We do not all have the same opportunities. We're not born in the same environments, but we're all absolutely equal in having the opportunity to make the most of what we have and not comparing or worrying about what others have."[John R. Wooden]
As I was struggling to adapt to my new condition after my accident I received some important advice from a good friend of mine who is a physical therapist. He saw me not being able to come to grips with the fact that I had a "complete" injury which meant I would never regain the physical capacities I had lost. I was unhappy and depressed because I was "competing" with my former self -- a self who could run and walk and play the piano and etc. He told me in a frank conversation that if I were ever to have peace of mind I must openly and honestly admit to myself that there were now many things I would never be able to do again in a physical sense, evaluate what capacities I now had available to me and then exert every effort possible to maximize these to the highest degree possible. I took his advice, difficult as it was to admit certain things to myself about myself, and then began to work as hard as I could with what I had left. Over the years following his advice has brought me great peace of mind and self-satisfaction. I'm surely not implying that I am a "success", because I believe I am still living far below my true potential. However, 17 years ago I quit comparing myself to others in terms of what constitutes my "success" and it has been a great blessing to me.
Dad/Grandpa/Jack
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?
March 19, 2006, Observation:
Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?
There is a Chinese story (author anonymous) of a farmer who used an old horse to til his fields. I first heard it from my son-in-law, Matt Riley, who first heard it in a World Religions Class at Brigham Young University. I think it is a story worth sharing and remembering. One day, the horse escaped into the hills and when the farmer's neighbors sympathized with the old man over his bad luck, the farmer replied, "Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?" A week later, the horse returned with a herd of horses from the hills and this time the neighbors congratulated the farmer on his good luck. His reply was, "Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?"
Then, when the farmer's son was attempting to tame one of the wild horses, he fell off its back and broke his leg. Everyone thought this very bad luck. Not the farmer, whose only reaction was, "Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?"
Some weeks later, the army marched into the village and conscripted every able-bodied youth they found there. When they saw the farmer's son with his broken leg, they let him off. Now was that good luck or bad luck? Who knows?
I think the old Chinese farmer had a very sage philosophy of life. At any given moment of our lives it is extremely difficult to accurately judge whether the things that are happening to us are "good luck" or "bad luck". Usually only the passage of time will reveal how good or how bad some event or nonevent in our lives has actually been.
Joseph who was sold into Egypt by his brothers is a great example of the wisdom contained in the old Chinese story. I have often tried to put myself in Joseph's sandals which is really impossible, but in trying to do so my admiration and respect for him always intensifies. He was 17 years old when his brothers sold him as a slave to a camel train owned by some hairy Ishmaelites, journeying toward Egypt -- "good luck" or "bad luck"? I can envision him with a rope around his neck being led through the desert sand having no idea what his fate would be. If he were at all human like I am, he was probably a tad discouraged wondering why this had happened to him. He may even have muttered in Hebrew, "What bad luck", as he staggered forward behind the camels. His life had been very good up to that time as the favored son of Jacob, and now to be torn from the love, security, and society of his father and family I'm sure he could not at that moment see any good in it.
Upon arriving in Egypt he was sold as a slave and in maintaining his virtue and seeking to be a true and faithful follower of Jehovah, the God of his fathers, he was cast into prison from which he would not emerge until he was 30 years old. I have often wondered if during those 13 years as slave and prisoner he could ever see the good in what had happened to him. I don't know that we will ever know the answer to that question. The one thing I think we do know is that this Joseph was a man of great faith, and I get the feeling from reading the text that his faith never wavered for as it is recorded "... the LORD was with him." I believe he was willing to wait on the Lord and trust in Him before rushing to judgment as to whether his fate was "good luck" or "bad luck" as bleak as it may have seemed at times. It may not have been until he had finally put his brothers to the test, which they thankfully passed that he could clearly see for himself and say to them: "Now therefore be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither: for God did send me before you to preserve life...And God sent me before you to preserve you a posterity in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So now it was not you that sent me hither, but God: and he hath made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler throughout all the land of Egypt." [Genesis 45:5, 7-8] [emphasis added]
When I had my accident 17 years ago I believe as a family we couldn't help but think it was such "bad luck". Nothing like this had ever happened in our family and to think that I would be paralyzed from the neck down and on life-support forever was just almost more than we could take in. We frankly could not see any "good luck" in it or why the Lord would allow this to happen to me. 17 years later we still probably do not have all the answers but in my own mind so much good has come from what at one time seemed so bad. There is no way, for example, that I could ever express to anyone verbally what I have learned about the power of the Atonement through my experience with paralysis. I have learned things about myself and been strengthened in ways that perhaps could never have been without this challenging experience. And then I will always believe that especially my younger two daughters have been blessed with a level of maturity and spirituality that may not have been theirs had they not had so much responsibility thrust upon them at such a very tender age. I have also witnessed Jo Anne shoulder a monumental responsibility and grow spiritually and emotionally powerful in the process.
I think one of the things we need most in life, and often must struggle to obtain, is an eternal vision accompanied by complete trust and faith in the ultimate goodness of God and his love for, and desire to bless each one of us. The Lord wisely counseled all of us: "Search diligently, pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good, if ye walk uprightly and remember the covenant wherewith ye have covenanted one with another." [Doctrine & Covenants 90:24] [emphasis added]
So you really won the lottery? Good luck -- bad luck -- who knows?
Dad/Grandpa/Jack
Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?
There is a Chinese story (author anonymous) of a farmer who used an old horse to til his fields. I first heard it from my son-in-law, Matt Riley, who first heard it in a World Religions Class at Brigham Young University. I think it is a story worth sharing and remembering. One day, the horse escaped into the hills and when the farmer's neighbors sympathized with the old man over his bad luck, the farmer replied, "Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?" A week later, the horse returned with a herd of horses from the hills and this time the neighbors congratulated the farmer on his good luck. His reply was, "Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?"
Then, when the farmer's son was attempting to tame one of the wild horses, he fell off its back and broke his leg. Everyone thought this very bad luck. Not the farmer, whose only reaction was, "Bad luck? Good luck? Who knows?"
Some weeks later, the army marched into the village and conscripted every able-bodied youth they found there. When they saw the farmer's son with his broken leg, they let him off. Now was that good luck or bad luck? Who knows?
I think the old Chinese farmer had a very sage philosophy of life. At any given moment of our lives it is extremely difficult to accurately judge whether the things that are happening to us are "good luck" or "bad luck". Usually only the passage of time will reveal how good or how bad some event or nonevent in our lives has actually been.
Joseph who was sold into Egypt by his brothers is a great example of the wisdom contained in the old Chinese story. I have often tried to put myself in Joseph's sandals which is really impossible, but in trying to do so my admiration and respect for him always intensifies. He was 17 years old when his brothers sold him as a slave to a camel train owned by some hairy Ishmaelites, journeying toward Egypt -- "good luck" or "bad luck"? I can envision him with a rope around his neck being led through the desert sand having no idea what his fate would be. If he were at all human like I am, he was probably a tad discouraged wondering why this had happened to him. He may even have muttered in Hebrew, "What bad luck", as he staggered forward behind the camels. His life had been very good up to that time as the favored son of Jacob, and now to be torn from the love, security, and society of his father and family I'm sure he could not at that moment see any good in it.
Upon arriving in Egypt he was sold as a slave and in maintaining his virtue and seeking to be a true and faithful follower of Jehovah, the God of his fathers, he was cast into prison from which he would not emerge until he was 30 years old. I have often wondered if during those 13 years as slave and prisoner he could ever see the good in what had happened to him. I don't know that we will ever know the answer to that question. The one thing I think we do know is that this Joseph was a man of great faith, and I get the feeling from reading the text that his faith never wavered for as it is recorded "... the LORD was with him." I believe he was willing to wait on the Lord and trust in Him before rushing to judgment as to whether his fate was "good luck" or "bad luck" as bleak as it may have seemed at times. It may not have been until he had finally put his brothers to the test, which they thankfully passed that he could clearly see for himself and say to them: "Now therefore be not grieved, nor angry with yourselves, that ye sold me hither: for God did send me before you to preserve life...And God sent me before you to preserve you a posterity in the earth, and to save your lives by a great deliverance. So now it was not you that sent me hither, but God: and he hath made me a father to Pharaoh, and lord of all his house, and a ruler throughout all the land of Egypt." [Genesis 45:5, 7-8] [emphasis added]
When I had my accident 17 years ago I believe as a family we couldn't help but think it was such "bad luck". Nothing like this had ever happened in our family and to think that I would be paralyzed from the neck down and on life-support forever was just almost more than we could take in. We frankly could not see any "good luck" in it or why the Lord would allow this to happen to me. 17 years later we still probably do not have all the answers but in my own mind so much good has come from what at one time seemed so bad. There is no way, for example, that I could ever express to anyone verbally what I have learned about the power of the Atonement through my experience with paralysis. I have learned things about myself and been strengthened in ways that perhaps could never have been without this challenging experience. And then I will always believe that especially my younger two daughters have been blessed with a level of maturity and spirituality that may not have been theirs had they not had so much responsibility thrust upon them at such a very tender age. I have also witnessed Jo Anne shoulder a monumental responsibility and grow spiritually and emotionally powerful in the process.
I think one of the things we need most in life, and often must struggle to obtain, is an eternal vision accompanied by complete trust and faith in the ultimate goodness of God and his love for, and desire to bless each one of us. The Lord wisely counseled all of us: "Search diligently, pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good, if ye walk uprightly and remember the covenant wherewith ye have covenanted one with another." [Doctrine & Covenants 90:24] [emphasis added]
So you really won the lottery? Good luck -- bad luck -- who knows?
Dad/Grandpa/Jack
Monday, March 6, 2006
March Madness I
Monday March 6, 2006 Observation:
I love this time of the year. We are just beginning the NCAA men's basketball tournament that has come to be known as "March Madness". I have been an avid follower of "March Madness" for many years. I hate to admit it but I am a basketball junkie. You would think at my age that maybe I wouldn't be so involved or care about basketball anymore, but I hate to confess there is still a fire burning inside regarding this sport. My love for basketball is irrefutable evidence of a misspent youth playing basketball anywhere and everywhere I could and as often as I could.
I must tell you about the time that "March Madness" almost cost me my life. Jo Anne and my youngest daughter Jackie and I had gone to St. George to visit some of Jo Anne's family. It was toward the end of March and I was a little nervous that I would not be able to see the NCAA championship game. My whole trip brightened considerably however, when Jo Anne's brother Danny, who lives in Mesquite, told me he had a big screen TV in his home and that he would be watching the championship game between the University of Arizona and the University of Kansas. I eagerly accepted his invitation to watch the game with him but the day before the great event the battery that runs the ventilator on the back of my wheelchair died on me. A new battery had been ordered but would not be available until the day after the championship game between Arizona and Kansas. As long as I was plugged into a wall socket I was OK and able to breathe and I have learned that breathing is better than not breathing. Then a light went on in my head -- pure revelation -- my ventilator is equipped with an internal battery that will run for approximately an hour as a lifesaving and safety feature. I knew that it was less than an hour from St. George to Mesquite and the way Jo Anne drives it would even be a shorter time period than that.
Well, I convinced Jo Anne and Jackie to load me in the van late that afternoon and make the dash for Mesquite and the championship game on big screen TV. However, I had failed to take into consideration the fact that we had to stop and get gas in St. George and that we would take the wrong off-ramp in Mesquite to get to Danny's home. We were still some distance from our destination when my ventilator died. When the ventilator dies it gives a big, sickening gasp and then the alarm begins sounding in hopes that somebody will fix the problem. It is quite a gut wrenching sound to the person who is depending on it for his air supply. We had prepared Jackie in advance and so she pulled out the trusty ambubag and began pumping air into my lungs by hand. I don't even think Jackie was a teenager at the time. As she pumped the life-giving air into my lungs she would say "Dad, could I have a new bicycle?" "Yes, yes, anything, just keep pumping!" "Dad, how about a year's pass to Disneyland?" "Yes -- just keep squeezing that bag!"
We finally screeched to a stop in front of Danny's home and he came running out into the driveway with a long extension cord. Soon the ventilator was happy once again as it took over the job of pumping air into my lungs to the relief of Jackie.
Plugged into the wall, munching on chips and dip, drinking root beer, and watching Arizona beat Kansas on the big screen TV I was truly in heaven. I temporarily put out of my mind the fact that later that night -- it turned out to be midnight -- we would have to make the mad dash back up the Virgin River Gorge to St. George to the safety of another extension cord and wall socket. Jo Anne, giving a great imitation of an Indy 500 driver, got us home safely.
Well, am I crazy or what? Was it really worth risking my life to be able to watch that game on the big screen TV? Any normal, rational person would say of course not! But for somebody infected with the "March Madness" disease, yes it was worth the risk.
It is so hard to get basketball out of your blood. I think I am in pretty good company though. I love this passage from President Spencer W. Kimball's Journal which he wrote as a young man: "It is a great occasion. Many people came tonight who have never been before. Some of the townsmen say basketball is a girl’s game but they came in large numbers tonight. Our court is not quite regulation. We are used to it, our opponents not. I have special luck with my shots tonight and the ball goes through the hoop again and again and the game ends with our High School team the victors against the college team. I am the smallest one and the youngest on the team. I have piled up the most points through the efforts of the whole team protecting me and feeding the ball to me. I am on the shoulders of the big fellows of the Academy. They are parading me around the hall to my consternation and embarrassment. I like basketball. I would rather play this game than eat." (Edward L. Kimball and Andrew E. Kimball Jr., Spencer W. Kimball (Salt Lake City Bookcraft, 1977), 65) I can totally identify with President Kimball's sentiments regarding basketball.
From President Ezra Taft Benson's biography comes the following incident: “Ezra remembers his father swearing only once. The Oneida Stake Academy was playing Brigham Young College in Logan, and late in the game Oneida trailed by a point after failing to convert on several attempts. Ezra suddenly got the ball and an exasperated George yelled. ‘Hell, T. put it in!’ It was shocking to the local citizens coming from George Benson, but apparently they understood his enthusiasm and anxiety.” Ezra continued, “When we finished with a one-point victory, Father was overjoyed.” (Sheri L. Dew, Ezra Taft Benson: A Biography (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1987), 39)
Have I ever been tempted to utter a cuss word during a Lakers or BYU basketball game? Well, hopefully those of you with sound minds will have mercy on those of us who are smitten by "March Madness". If you unfortunately happen to be married to someone with this affliction let me give you the following counsel. As you offer your prayers for your loved one use as a pattern the words of the distraught father who brought his son to Jesus to be healed. "Lord, have mercy on my son [husband]: for he is [a] lunatick..." [Matthew 17: 15] And then we must never forget Paul's counsel to the Thessalonian Saints: "... comfort the feebleminded..." [1 Thessalonians 5: 14]
On the bright side "March Madness" comes only once every 11 months!
Dad/Grandpa/Rushton
I love this time of the year. We are just beginning the NCAA men's basketball tournament that has come to be known as "March Madness". I have been an avid follower of "March Madness" for many years. I hate to admit it but I am a basketball junkie. You would think at my age that maybe I wouldn't be so involved or care about basketball anymore, but I hate to confess there is still a fire burning inside regarding this sport. My love for basketball is irrefutable evidence of a misspent youth playing basketball anywhere and everywhere I could and as often as I could.
I must tell you about the time that "March Madness" almost cost me my life. Jo Anne and my youngest daughter Jackie and I had gone to St. George to visit some of Jo Anne's family. It was toward the end of March and I was a little nervous that I would not be able to see the NCAA championship game. My whole trip brightened considerably however, when Jo Anne's brother Danny, who lives in Mesquite, told me he had a big screen TV in his home and that he would be watching the championship game between the University of Arizona and the University of Kansas. I eagerly accepted his invitation to watch the game with him but the day before the great event the battery that runs the ventilator on the back of my wheelchair died on me. A new battery had been ordered but would not be available until the day after the championship game between Arizona and Kansas. As long as I was plugged into a wall socket I was OK and able to breathe and I have learned that breathing is better than not breathing. Then a light went on in my head -- pure revelation -- my ventilator is equipped with an internal battery that will run for approximately an hour as a lifesaving and safety feature. I knew that it was less than an hour from St. George to Mesquite and the way Jo Anne drives it would even be a shorter time period than that.
Well, I convinced Jo Anne and Jackie to load me in the van late that afternoon and make the dash for Mesquite and the championship game on big screen TV. However, I had failed to take into consideration the fact that we had to stop and get gas in St. George and that we would take the wrong off-ramp in Mesquite to get to Danny's home. We were still some distance from our destination when my ventilator died. When the ventilator dies it gives a big, sickening gasp and then the alarm begins sounding in hopes that somebody will fix the problem. It is quite a gut wrenching sound to the person who is depending on it for his air supply. We had prepared Jackie in advance and so she pulled out the trusty ambubag and began pumping air into my lungs by hand. I don't even think Jackie was a teenager at the time. As she pumped the life-giving air into my lungs she would say "Dad, could I have a new bicycle?" "Yes, yes, anything, just keep pumping!" "Dad, how about a year's pass to Disneyland?" "Yes -- just keep squeezing that bag!"
We finally screeched to a stop in front of Danny's home and he came running out into the driveway with a long extension cord. Soon the ventilator was happy once again as it took over the job of pumping air into my lungs to the relief of Jackie.
Plugged into the wall, munching on chips and dip, drinking root beer, and watching Arizona beat Kansas on the big screen TV I was truly in heaven. I temporarily put out of my mind the fact that later that night -- it turned out to be midnight -- we would have to make the mad dash back up the Virgin River Gorge to St. George to the safety of another extension cord and wall socket. Jo Anne, giving a great imitation of an Indy 500 driver, got us home safely.
Well, am I crazy or what? Was it really worth risking my life to be able to watch that game on the big screen TV? Any normal, rational person would say of course not! But for somebody infected with the "March Madness" disease, yes it was worth the risk.
It is so hard to get basketball out of your blood. I think I am in pretty good company though. I love this passage from President Spencer W. Kimball's Journal which he wrote as a young man: "It is a great occasion. Many people came tonight who have never been before. Some of the townsmen say basketball is a girl’s game but they came in large numbers tonight. Our court is not quite regulation. We are used to it, our opponents not. I have special luck with my shots tonight and the ball goes through the hoop again and again and the game ends with our High School team the victors against the college team. I am the smallest one and the youngest on the team. I have piled up the most points through the efforts of the whole team protecting me and feeding the ball to me. I am on the shoulders of the big fellows of the Academy. They are parading me around the hall to my consternation and embarrassment. I like basketball. I would rather play this game than eat." (Edward L. Kimball and Andrew E. Kimball Jr., Spencer W. Kimball (Salt Lake City Bookcraft, 1977), 65) I can totally identify with President Kimball's sentiments regarding basketball.
From President Ezra Taft Benson's biography comes the following incident: “Ezra remembers his father swearing only once. The Oneida Stake Academy was playing Brigham Young College in Logan, and late in the game Oneida trailed by a point after failing to convert on several attempts. Ezra suddenly got the ball and an exasperated George yelled. ‘Hell, T. put it in!’ It was shocking to the local citizens coming from George Benson, but apparently they understood his enthusiasm and anxiety.” Ezra continued, “When we finished with a one-point victory, Father was overjoyed.” (Sheri L. Dew, Ezra Taft Benson: A Biography (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 1987), 39)
Have I ever been tempted to utter a cuss word during a Lakers or BYU basketball game? Well, hopefully those of you with sound minds will have mercy on those of us who are smitten by "March Madness". If you unfortunately happen to be married to someone with this affliction let me give you the following counsel. As you offer your prayers for your loved one use as a pattern the words of the distraught father who brought his son to Jesus to be healed. "Lord, have mercy on my son [husband]: for he is [a] lunatick..." [Matthew 17: 15] And then we must never forget Paul's counsel to the Thessalonian Saints: "... comfort the feebleminded..." [1 Thessalonians 5: 14]
On the bright side "March Madness" comes only once every 11 months!
Dad/Grandpa/Rushton
Sunday, March 5, 2006
Our Appearance and Homes Should be a Reflection of the Light in our Lives
Sunday, May 5, 2006 Observation
Our Appearance and Homes Should be a Reflection of the Light in our Lives
Well, yesterday was "hair" day for me. About every week or week and a half Jo Anne takes a good, critical look at me, and announces that I am unfit to be seen in public. Those words are like a dagger in my heart because I know what is coming and I can't defend myself. She has a little instrument that runs off batteries that has tiny blades rotating at a high rpm that she shoves up my nose to cut out any extraneous hair. It is only supposed to cut the hair but inevitably it manages to chew up a little tissue as well. If the rotating blades don't get all the hair she comes at me with her little scissors -- and all the while I am screaming, groaning and shouting "Quad abuse!" With my nose now having achieved a satisfactory rating she concentrates her efforts on my ears. Accompanied by groans, screams, and accusatory "Quad abuse" statements on my part, she calmly inserts her little scissors in my ears, cuts out any extra hair, and digs out any foreign matter that she doesn't feel should be there. I now give a sigh of relief because the worst is over -- but not completely. She next attacks my eyebrows telling me that no husband of hers is ever going to look like Andy Rooney and then using a combination electric razor and hair clipper device she trims up my hair, what little I have, to her specified standard of excellence. About this time I am very happy and relieved but yet lurking in the back up my mind is the painful thought that this process will be repeated in the not too distant future.
Parenthetically, the word "hair" almost cost me my life shortly after my accident. One night in the rehabilitation hospital about 2 a.m. a Hispanic nurse's aide -- a sweet little woman -- was performing a procedure on me. As she worked over me I could sense that the hose that runs from my throat to the respirator was coming loose and I wasn't breathing really well. I looked at this little lady and said in a gasping way "My air, my air, I'm losing my air!" With great compassion in her eyes and voice she responded, "Mr. Rushton, don't worry, you have lots of "hair"." Then with my last breath I murmured "No, my air, my air." She insightfully rejoined "You shouldn't worry so much about your "hair" -- it's OK." At that point the hose popped off my throat, I quit breathing, and the little Hispanic lady never had a clue what was happening. The alarms went off thankfully, and two nurses ran in from the nursing station to save my life.
Getting back to Jo Anne and her handling of my hair problems -- I have thought a great deal about it over the years. In her eyes the way I look is a reflection on the type of care I receive from her and the kind of person she is. I believe she feels she will be judged by others by the way I look. It goes far beyond that however in that I believe she loves me enough to care about things that no one else would even think about. She understands that my groaning and complaining about "Quad abuse" is just a lot of hot air and knows how much I truly appreciate her desire and willingness to make me feel and look as good as she possibly can. She has been waging war in our home against dirt in any of its forms all of our married life. There is no way that she is going to let her quadriplegic husband look disheveled, dirty, unkempt, unshaved or not dressed in the best and most appropriate outfit available. My wheelchair, which is such an extension of me, is dusted daily, cleaned, and even the wheels are checked to make sure they are spotless. Though not much to look at, I go out in public with great confidence knowing that Jo Anne has made me as presentable as possible. Doctors and nurses are amazed that I am 17 years into my injury and look and feel as good as I do. They stand in awe of the quality of care I have received at her hands for such a lengthy period of time. What I look like, and my attitude of faith and hope, really tell you much more about Jo Anne then they do of me.
I believe that cleanliness and orderliness and being in control of one's life are really such an important part of what life is all about. These things communicate better than words what our true character really is. I will never forget my first trip to Nauvoo in the early seventies and how impressed I was with my visit to the Wilford Woodruff home. The guide took us from room to room in this beautiful brick home and in the main parlor told us how in the haste of fleeing from Nauvoo to escape the wrath of the mob the piano had inadvertently been pushed into the wall leaving a gaping hole. Wilford Woodruff paid a man to come and patch the wall of the home they were abandoning so that whoever occupied it after their departure would know that people of substance and quality had lived there. That was a great lesson to me as a young married man regarding the importance of beautifying and taking care of one's home as best as possible. Our homes are such a reflection of who we are. They don't need to be luxurious or ostentatious but they should be clean and orderly.
When the Church builds a temple it is made of the finest materials and put together by the best artisans and craftsmen available. We go to great extremes to ensure that each temple is really a precious jewel. Why; because these temples are "The Houses of the Lord". They are a reflection of Him and who He is. Similarly, our personal appearance and our homes are a reflection and an extension of who we really are.
I know we can go overboard and be obsessed by appearance and style but true cleanliness and orderliness is never out of style.
In the little Mayan Indian village of Patzun located in the Western Highlands of Guatemala in the late 1950s you would have been impressed with the home of Thomas Coo Coo. Thomas was a member of the Church as well as the mayor of the village. In these little Indian villages the homes of the Indians were made of adobe walls with a thatched roof. Their source of heat and cooking was a little fire pit in the middle of the room with no provision for getting the smoke out of the home. Consequently most of the Indian women went around with weeping, smarting eyes from the constant exposure to the smoke. Soon after his baptism and in counseling with the elders who baptized him, Thomas had a desire to get the smoke out of his house. They introduced to him the concept of a fireplace with a chimney and with their assistance they actually built one in his little hut. Thomas' home was free of smoke and a wonder to his neighbors in that little village. The light of the Gospel in his life was evident in his beautiful, healthy, smoke-free one-room home.
I think our appearance and homes should be a reflection of the light we have in our lives.
Dad/Grandpa/Jack
Monday, February 27, 2006
A Merry Heart
Monday, February 27, 2006 Observation:
“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones” (Proverbs 17:22).
I was lying in bed the other day working on my laptop computer; still trying to recover from a sore on my bottom, when Jo Anne turned on the speakerphone so I could listen and speak to a sister in our Ward who is undergoing chemotherapy for a serious cancer problem. Her surgery was painful and the subsequent chemotherapy has caused her to be very sick much of the time. This has been going on for months now. As we talked to her Jo Anne made the comment that she sounded like the healthiest and happiest person in town. Her affliction is serious and painful but she has chosen to have an attitude of faith and hope and cheerfulness. It was always a delight to visit with her before her struggle with cancer and it is even more a delight now because of her "... merry heart..."
We enjoy being around people who are positive and happy. However, I know that you cannot force yourself to be happy. I must admit to having been very depressed for a long period of time after my accident many years ago now. It took the passage of time, much fasting and prayer, scripture searching, and trying to be of service to others in my own unique way before joy, peace, and happiness became a part of my life once again. Truly, I have discovered through my life's experience that a "merry heart" is like medicine and that a broken spirit does "dry up the bones". If our spirit is broken we must seek with all our hearts the healing power of the Savior which can mend that which is broken like nothing else can.
I believe being happy and positive is one of the most important traits that any leader can possess. When Elder John K. Carmack called me to be the President of the Irvine, California Stake he didn't have much time to instruct me in my duties as stake president. To this day however, I remember his parting counsel: "Your main responsibility as stake president is to be an ambassador of goodwill!" He couldn't have given me better advice. Another general authority after having spent several days in our stake said: "Never call brother -- -- as a bishop. I have never seen him smile once since I have been here."
I was doing some random reading the other day and came across a classic talk that President Hinckley gave to the CES teachers and administrators on September 15, 1978. The talk is entitled "Four Imperatives for Religious Educators". All four imperatives are important for teachers and leaders but it was his last imperative -- so much a part of what he is -- that rang so true to me.
"And now, finally, enjoy your work. Be happy. I meet so many people who constantly complain about the burden of their responsibilities. Of course the pressures are great. There is much, too much, to do. There are financial burdens to add to all of these pressures, and with all of this they are prone to complain, frequently at home, often in public. Turn your thinking around. The gospel is good news. Man is that he might have joy. Be happy! Let that happiness shine through your faces and speak through your testimonies. You can expect problems. There may be occasional tragedies. But shining through all of this is the plea of the Lord: “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28–30).
"I enjoy these words of Jenkin Lloyd Jones, which I clipped from a column in the Deseret News some years ago. I pass them on to you as I conclude my remarks. Said he: 'Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal, is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. Most putts don’t drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old-time rail journey—delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.' [ Jenkin Lloyd Jones, Deseret News, June 12, 1973.]
"I repeat, my brothers and sisters, the trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride; and really, isn’t it a wonderful ride? Enjoy it! Laugh about it! Sing about it!" [Four Imperatives for Religious Educators, President Gordon B. Hinckley]
President Hinckley has a way with words, doesn't he? He is the essence of his fourth imperative to religious educators. Has there ever been anyone more positive or happy than President Hinckley? This important character trait has enabled him to be one of the greatest leaders of this dispensation. We would do well to follow his marvelous example of being happy and positive.
I for one do believe life has been a wonderful ride, in spite of some "delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts". I guess ultimately, we really should just thank the Lord for letting us have the ride.
Dad/Grandpa/Jack
“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones” (Proverbs 17:22).
I was lying in bed the other day working on my laptop computer; still trying to recover from a sore on my bottom, when Jo Anne turned on the speakerphone so I could listen and speak to a sister in our Ward who is undergoing chemotherapy for a serious cancer problem. Her surgery was painful and the subsequent chemotherapy has caused her to be very sick much of the time. This has been going on for months now. As we talked to her Jo Anne made the comment that she sounded like the healthiest and happiest person in town. Her affliction is serious and painful but she has chosen to have an attitude of faith and hope and cheerfulness. It was always a delight to visit with her before her struggle with cancer and it is even more a delight now because of her "... merry heart..."
We enjoy being around people who are positive and happy. However, I know that you cannot force yourself to be happy. I must admit to having been very depressed for a long period of time after my accident many years ago now. It took the passage of time, much fasting and prayer, scripture searching, and trying to be of service to others in my own unique way before joy, peace, and happiness became a part of my life once again. Truly, I have discovered through my life's experience that a "merry heart" is like medicine and that a broken spirit does "dry up the bones". If our spirit is broken we must seek with all our hearts the healing power of the Savior which can mend that which is broken like nothing else can.
I believe being happy and positive is one of the most important traits that any leader can possess. When Elder John K. Carmack called me to be the President of the Irvine, California Stake he didn't have much time to instruct me in my duties as stake president. To this day however, I remember his parting counsel: "Your main responsibility as stake president is to be an ambassador of goodwill!" He couldn't have given me better advice. Another general authority after having spent several days in our stake said: "Never call brother -- -- as a bishop. I have never seen him smile once since I have been here."
I was doing some random reading the other day and came across a classic talk that President Hinckley gave to the CES teachers and administrators on September 15, 1978. The talk is entitled "Four Imperatives for Religious Educators". All four imperatives are important for teachers and leaders but it was his last imperative -- so much a part of what he is -- that rang so true to me.
"And now, finally, enjoy your work. Be happy. I meet so many people who constantly complain about the burden of their responsibilities. Of course the pressures are great. There is much, too much, to do. There are financial burdens to add to all of these pressures, and with all of this they are prone to complain, frequently at home, often in public. Turn your thinking around. The gospel is good news. Man is that he might have joy. Be happy! Let that happiness shine through your faces and speak through your testimonies. You can expect problems. There may be occasional tragedies. But shining through all of this is the plea of the Lord: “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart; and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28–30).
"I enjoy these words of Jenkin Lloyd Jones, which I clipped from a column in the Deseret News some years ago. I pass them on to you as I conclude my remarks. Said he: 'Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal, is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. Most putts don’t drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old-time rail journey—delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.' [ Jenkin Lloyd Jones, Deseret News, June 12, 1973.]
"I repeat, my brothers and sisters, the trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride; and really, isn’t it a wonderful ride? Enjoy it! Laugh about it! Sing about it!" [Four Imperatives for Religious Educators, President Gordon B. Hinckley]
President Hinckley has a way with words, doesn't he? He is the essence of his fourth imperative to religious educators. Has there ever been anyone more positive or happy than President Hinckley? This important character trait has enabled him to be one of the greatest leaders of this dispensation. We would do well to follow his marvelous example of being happy and positive.
I for one do believe life has been a wonderful ride, in spite of some "delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts". I guess ultimately, we really should just thank the Lord for letting us have the ride.
Dad/Grandpa/Jack
Monday, February 13, 2006
Stephen Hawking
February 13, 2006, Observation:
A month has gone by since Jo Anne's foot surgery and she is doing really well. I am very happy about this because the people that work the customer service desks taking back returned items have been getting nervous. We have even received a few calls from Costco, Kohls, Robinsons-May, Ross, and Mervyns inquiring about her. The girls at the customer service desks thought that maybe Jo Anne had passed on into the happy hunting ground. We have assured them that all is well and that they can soon count on her returning to them once again, items she has purchased.
I haven't been able to get out of bed for 11 days now because of a pressure sore. The wound specialist who is working with me tells me it may take another week or so of me staying in bed to give the sore sufficient time to heal. It is amazing to me how it is possible to adapt to this kind of situation without going stir crazy. Thankfully I am able to spend many hours each day working on my lap top computer which gives me a feeling of accomplishment as I endeavor to be as productive as I can be under the circumstances. This experience helps me to further appreciate the fact that if our minds are sound and our spirits healthy that even though our bodies may not work as we would like them to, life can still be very good.
Some of you have either read the writings of, or heard of the great scientist, Stephen W. Hawking. Stephen Hawking was born on the 300th anniversary of Galileo's death in 1942. He has come to be thought of as the greatest mind in physics since Albert Einstein. With similar interests -- discovering the deepest workings of the universe -- he has been able to communicate almost incomprehensible matters not just to other physicists but to the general public. At the remarkably young age of 32, he was named a fellow of the Royal Society. He received the Albert Einstein Award, the most prestigious in theoretical physics. And in 1979, he was appointed Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at Cambridge, the same post held by Sir Isaac Newton 300 years earlier. There he began to question the big bang theory of creation, which by then most had accepted. Perhaps, he suggested, there was never a start and would be no end, but just change -- a constant transition of one "universe" giving way to another through glitches in space-time. All the while, he was digging into exploding black holes, string theory, and the birth of black holes in our own galaxy. Two of my favorite quotes from his writings are: "Although science may solve the problem of how the universe began, it cannot answer the question: Why does the universe bother to exist? I don’t know the answer to that.” [Black Holes and Baby Universes and Other Essays] "Our earth is a medium-sized planet orbiting around an average star in the outer suburbs of an ordinary spiral galaxy, which is itself only one of about a million million galaxies in the observable universe.” [A Brief History of Time: from the Big Bang to Black Holes]
Still alive, he remains extremely busy, his work hardly slowed by Lou Gehrig's Disease (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, a disease that affects muscle control) for which he uses a wheelchair and speaks through a computer and voice synthesizer; he lost the use of his voice a number of years ago. He wrote: "I am quite often asked: How do you feel about having ALS? The answer is, not a lot. I try to lead as normal a life as possible, and not think about my condition, or regret the things I cannot do which are not many...I have had motor neurone disease for practically all my adult life. Yet it has not prevented me from having a very attractive family, and being successful in my work. This is thanks to the help I have received from Jane, my children, and a large number of other people and organizations. I have been lucky, that my condition has progressed more slowly than is often the case. But it shows that one need not lose hope." [Stephen Hawking]
Though not in the same ballgame intellectually, I think I have a feel for where Stephen Hawking is coming from regarding the deterioration of his physical body. His response to the question regarding how he feels about having ALS encapsulates perfectly how I feel about being paralyzed from the neck down and living on life support -- "How do you feel about having ALS [being paralyzed]? The answer is, not a lot. I try to lead as normal a life as possible, and not think about my condition, or regret the things I cannot do which are not many..." I feel exactly that same way!
I believe that if we have a healthy mind and spirit we have everything. The Lord taught Joseph Smith a valuable lesson regarding the proper perspective one should have regarding the balance between the physical and spiritual while living in mortality. The Missouri persecutions were just beginning; property had been destroyed but no lives lost yet. Joseph, in Kirtland, Ohio, knew through revelation, as well as from information beginning to trickle in from Missouri what was taking place. Preparing him for what was to come, the Lord revealed the following eternal truth: "Wherefore, fear not even unto death [don't ever be afraid of death, and I will tell you why] for in this world your joy is not full [as good as mortality may seem you will never know a fullness of joy in your present physical state] but in me your joy is full. [Through the atonement and a literal resurrection you one day will experience a fullness of joy -- but not now.] Therefore, [a very important preposition which means, everything I have told you up to this point being true, please do the following] care not for the body, neither the life of the body, but care for the soul and the life of the soul; [in other words, be careful about obsessing over the physical in your life. Of course, don't abuse your body, and try to keep it healthy and clean, but make your greatest priority the nurturing and care of your spirit. One day you will lay your body in the grave, but your spirit is eternal, and what you have done in caring for it will matter so much more in an eternal sense, than all the time and attention you have given to beautify and care for your physical body.] And seek the face of the Lord always that in patience ye may possess your souls, and ye shall have eternal life."[The ultimate way to care for the soul] [Doctrine and Covenants 101:36-38]
Internalizing this perspective about life can make a difference in how we spend our time and order our priorities. I personally know it to be a very significant and life-changing truth.
Dad/Grandpa/Jack
A month has gone by since Jo Anne's foot surgery and she is doing really well. I am very happy about this because the people that work the customer service desks taking back returned items have been getting nervous. We have even received a few calls from Costco, Kohls, Robinsons-May, Ross, and Mervyns inquiring about her. The girls at the customer service desks thought that maybe Jo Anne had passed on into the happy hunting ground. We have assured them that all is well and that they can soon count on her returning to them once again, items she has purchased.
I haven't been able to get out of bed for 11 days now because of a pressure sore. The wound specialist who is working with me tells me it may take another week or so of me staying in bed to give the sore sufficient time to heal. It is amazing to me how it is possible to adapt to this kind of situation without going stir crazy. Thankfully I am able to spend many hours each day working on my lap top computer which gives me a feeling of accomplishment as I endeavor to be as productive as I can be under the circumstances. This experience helps me to further appreciate the fact that if our minds are sound and our spirits healthy that even though our bodies may not work as we would like them to, life can still be very good.
Some of you have either read the writings of, or heard of the great scientist, Stephen W. Hawking. Stephen Hawking was born on the 300th anniversary of Galileo's death in 1942. He has come to be thought of as the greatest mind in physics since Albert Einstein. With similar interests -- discovering the deepest workings of the universe -- he has been able to communicate almost incomprehensible matters not just to other physicists but to the general public. At the remarkably young age of 32, he was named a fellow of the Royal Society. He received the Albert Einstein Award, the most prestigious in theoretical physics. And in 1979, he was appointed Lucasian Professor of Mathematics at Cambridge, the same post held by Sir Isaac Newton 300 years earlier. There he began to question the big bang theory of creation, which by then most had accepted. Perhaps, he suggested, there was never a start and would be no end, but just change -- a constant transition of one "universe" giving way to another through glitches in space-time. All the while, he was digging into exploding black holes, string theory, and the birth of black holes in our own galaxy. Two of my favorite quotes from his writings are: "Although science may solve the problem of how the universe began, it cannot answer the question: Why does the universe bother to exist? I don’t know the answer to that.” [Black Holes and Baby Universes and Other Essays] "Our earth is a medium-sized planet orbiting around an average star in the outer suburbs of an ordinary spiral galaxy, which is itself only one of about a million million galaxies in the observable universe.” [A Brief History of Time: from the Big Bang to Black Holes]
Still alive, he remains extremely busy, his work hardly slowed by Lou Gehrig's Disease (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, a disease that affects muscle control) for which he uses a wheelchair and speaks through a computer and voice synthesizer; he lost the use of his voice a number of years ago. He wrote: "I am quite often asked: How do you feel about having ALS? The answer is, not a lot. I try to lead as normal a life as possible, and not think about my condition, or regret the things I cannot do which are not many...I have had motor neurone disease for practically all my adult life. Yet it has not prevented me from having a very attractive family, and being successful in my work. This is thanks to the help I have received from Jane, my children, and a large number of other people and organizations. I have been lucky, that my condition has progressed more slowly than is often the case. But it shows that one need not lose hope." [Stephen Hawking]
Though not in the same ballgame intellectually, I think I have a feel for where Stephen Hawking is coming from regarding the deterioration of his physical body. His response to the question regarding how he feels about having ALS encapsulates perfectly how I feel about being paralyzed from the neck down and living on life support -- "How do you feel about having ALS [being paralyzed]? The answer is, not a lot. I try to lead as normal a life as possible, and not think about my condition, or regret the things I cannot do which are not many..." I feel exactly that same way!
I believe that if we have a healthy mind and spirit we have everything. The Lord taught Joseph Smith a valuable lesson regarding the proper perspective one should have regarding the balance between the physical and spiritual while living in mortality. The Missouri persecutions were just beginning; property had been destroyed but no lives lost yet. Joseph, in Kirtland, Ohio, knew through revelation, as well as from information beginning to trickle in from Missouri what was taking place. Preparing him for what was to come, the Lord revealed the following eternal truth: "Wherefore, fear not even unto death [don't ever be afraid of death, and I will tell you why] for in this world your joy is not full [as good as mortality may seem you will never know a fullness of joy in your present physical state] but in me your joy is full. [Through the atonement and a literal resurrection you one day will experience a fullness of joy -- but not now.] Therefore, [a very important preposition which means, everything I have told you up to this point being true, please do the following] care not for the body, neither the life of the body, but care for the soul and the life of the soul; [in other words, be careful about obsessing over the physical in your life. Of course, don't abuse your body, and try to keep it healthy and clean, but make your greatest priority the nurturing and care of your spirit. One day you will lay your body in the grave, but your spirit is eternal, and what you have done in caring for it will matter so much more in an eternal sense, than all the time and attention you have given to beautify and care for your physical body.] And seek the face of the Lord always that in patience ye may possess your souls, and ye shall have eternal life."[The ultimate way to care for the soul] [Doctrine and Covenants 101:36-38]
Internalizing this perspective about life can make a difference in how we spend our time and order our priorities. I personally know it to be a very significant and life-changing truth.
Dad/Grandpa/Jack
Monday, February 6, 2006
Message to Garcia
Monday, February 6, 2006 Observation
Like many of you undoubtedly, years ago I read Eldred Hubbard's essay "A Message to Garcia". It is a wonderful story about initiative, and trustworthiness and has impacted my thinking over the years. Eldred Hubbard wrote: "...When war broke out between Spain and the United States, it was very necessary to communicate quickly with the leader of the Insurgents. Garcia [leader of the Cuban insurgents against Spain] was somewhere in the mountain vastnesses of Cuba—no one knew where. No mail or telegraph could reach him. The President [William McKinley] must secure his co-operation, and quickly. What to do? Someone said to the President, "There is a fellow by the name of Rowan who will find Garcia for you, if anybody can." Rowan was sent for and given a letter to be delivered to Garcia....the fellow by name of Rowan took the letter, sealed it up in an oil-skin pouch, strapped it over his heart, in four days landed by night off the coast of Cuba from an open boat, disappeared into the jungle, and in three weeks came out on the other side of the Island, having traversed a hostile country on foot, and having delivered his letter to Garcia... The point I wish to make is this: McKinley gave Rowan a letter to be delivered to Garcia; Rowan took the letter and did not ask, "Where is he at?"
"By the Eternal! there is a man whose form should be cast in deathless bronze and the statue placed in every college of the land. It is not book-learning young men need, nor instruction about this or that, but a stiffening of the vertebrae which will cause them to be loyal to a trust, to act promptly, concentrate their energies: do the thing—"Carry a message to Garcia." (Eldred Hubbard)
I believe that Rowan's type of initiative, trustworthiness, and integrity, sadly, is not found in great numbers of people. I know that in the leadership positions I have held over the years I have always tried to surround myself with people that could "carry a message to Garcia." I have been blessed to find men and women that I could totally trust to use their initiative to accomplish something delegated to them better than I could ever have done it myself. Such individuals are truly priceless.
Over the past 16 years Jo Anne and I have learned a great deal about this quality in people and companies we have dealt with in trying to address and meet the special needs I have in my condition. We have a company that provides my ventilators and associated materials I need to keep me breathing. Jo Anne will call in an order for supplies we need and for some reason they are never delivered. It always takes three or four phone calls and then invariably they send the wrong supplies. Have any of you ever experienced something like this? It is obvious these people have never even heard of "Garcia"! Another company, by contrast, that provides us with the remainder of our medical supplies can be called on Monday and the correct order will be delivered on Tuesday. I have a doctor that if we put a call in to her she actually calls us back. So many times calls go unheeded or the "I will get back to you" never happens. Isn't it such a ray of sunshine in your life to find people who actually do what they say they are going to do without being pestered or prodded?
I believe I have been pondering this quality recently because of my Filipino caregiver, Rey. He is one of the most trustworthy people I have ever met. I have had the reoccurrence of a pressure sore and have been in bed for three days and will probably have to spend several more days down to get this thing on the way to being healed. When I am down it actually complicates and increases Rey's workload. He never complains however, and always comes when he says he is going to come. I never have to wonder if he is going to do show up or not -- he is always there and usually before the appointed hour. He is absolutely meticulous with my care and is always double and triple checking the ventilator and all of its connections before leaving me alone. We pay Rey for his work but could never pay him enough for what he is worth. To come and do for me what he does day in and day out is a wonderful blessing in all our lives. He truly knows how to carry the message to "Garcia"!
How does one develop the kind of integrity and trustworthiness of a Rowan or a Rey? I suspect it is an inborn quality in many, but also a quality that can be expanded in all of us. To simply do what we say we are going to do is a true barometer of our character. Jesus told the following parable toward the end of his ministry: "But what think ye? A certain man had two sons; and he came to the first, and said, Son, go work to day in my vineyard. He answered and said, I will not: but afterward he repented, and went. And he came to the second, and said likewise. And he answered and said, I go, sir: and went not. Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first...." [Matthew 21:28-31] The openness, honesty, and integrity of the first son is very refreshing. Too often we are prone to make promises we have no intention of keeping to look good in the eyes of others or to say things we think others want to hear just to keep them happy. How much better it is to say, "No I will not do it" and then on reflection, actually go and do that thing we ought to have done. Huxley said, "Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do when it is to be done, whether you like it or not."
Many years ago I was at a party on a Friday evening at the home of Dr. Wayne Triplett, a member of our stake. He was an avid bike rider and was in great physical shape -- he looked like he had been chiseled out of granite. He was telling me about some of the bike trips he had taken and I foolishly, trying to be nice and make polite conversation, told him how fun it sounded and that I wished I could do something like that. He asked me what I was doing the next morning at 6 a.m. and not being able to think of anything I mumbled "Nothing". He told me he had an extra bike in his garage and that he would like to take me on a ride. Well, I had put my foot in my mouth and so the next morning, like a lamb being led to the slaughter, I followed Wayne Triplett from his home in Tustin all the way to Laguna Beach and back. Pedaling up Laguna Canyon I thought I would die but every time he would look back at me I would manage to give him a sickly grin. I couldn't sit down for several days after that experience but had learned a valuable lesson. Never say anything you don't really mean and plan on doing!
Well, how fortunate we are to know people who can deliver a message to Garcia and how we should strive to deliver that same message ourselves.
Dad/Grandpa/Jack
Like many of you undoubtedly, years ago I read Eldred Hubbard's essay "A Message to Garcia". It is a wonderful story about initiative, and trustworthiness and has impacted my thinking over the years. Eldred Hubbard wrote: "...When war broke out between Spain and the United States, it was very necessary to communicate quickly with the leader of the Insurgents. Garcia [leader of the Cuban insurgents against Spain] was somewhere in the mountain vastnesses of Cuba—no one knew where. No mail or telegraph could reach him. The President [William McKinley] must secure his co-operation, and quickly. What to do? Someone said to the President, "There is a fellow by the name of Rowan who will find Garcia for you, if anybody can." Rowan was sent for and given a letter to be delivered to Garcia....the fellow by name of Rowan took the letter, sealed it up in an oil-skin pouch, strapped it over his heart, in four days landed by night off the coast of Cuba from an open boat, disappeared into the jungle, and in three weeks came out on the other side of the Island, having traversed a hostile country on foot, and having delivered his letter to Garcia... The point I wish to make is this: McKinley gave Rowan a letter to be delivered to Garcia; Rowan took the letter and did not ask, "Where is he at?"
"By the Eternal! there is a man whose form should be cast in deathless bronze and the statue placed in every college of the land. It is not book-learning young men need, nor instruction about this or that, but a stiffening of the vertebrae which will cause them to be loyal to a trust, to act promptly, concentrate their energies: do the thing—"Carry a message to Garcia." (Eldred Hubbard)
I believe that Rowan's type of initiative, trustworthiness, and integrity, sadly, is not found in great numbers of people. I know that in the leadership positions I have held over the years I have always tried to surround myself with people that could "carry a message to Garcia." I have been blessed to find men and women that I could totally trust to use their initiative to accomplish something delegated to them better than I could ever have done it myself. Such individuals are truly priceless.
Over the past 16 years Jo Anne and I have learned a great deal about this quality in people and companies we have dealt with in trying to address and meet the special needs I have in my condition. We have a company that provides my ventilators and associated materials I need to keep me breathing. Jo Anne will call in an order for supplies we need and for some reason they are never delivered. It always takes three or four phone calls and then invariably they send the wrong supplies. Have any of you ever experienced something like this? It is obvious these people have never even heard of "Garcia"! Another company, by contrast, that provides us with the remainder of our medical supplies can be called on Monday and the correct order will be delivered on Tuesday. I have a doctor that if we put a call in to her she actually calls us back. So many times calls go unheeded or the "I will get back to you" never happens. Isn't it such a ray of sunshine in your life to find people who actually do what they say they are going to do without being pestered or prodded?
I believe I have been pondering this quality recently because of my Filipino caregiver, Rey. He is one of the most trustworthy people I have ever met. I have had the reoccurrence of a pressure sore and have been in bed for three days and will probably have to spend several more days down to get this thing on the way to being healed. When I am down it actually complicates and increases Rey's workload. He never complains however, and always comes when he says he is going to come. I never have to wonder if he is going to do show up or not -- he is always there and usually before the appointed hour. He is absolutely meticulous with my care and is always double and triple checking the ventilator and all of its connections before leaving me alone. We pay Rey for his work but could never pay him enough for what he is worth. To come and do for me what he does day in and day out is a wonderful blessing in all our lives. He truly knows how to carry the message to "Garcia"!
How does one develop the kind of integrity and trustworthiness of a Rowan or a Rey? I suspect it is an inborn quality in many, but also a quality that can be expanded in all of us. To simply do what we say we are going to do is a true barometer of our character. Jesus told the following parable toward the end of his ministry: "But what think ye? A certain man had two sons; and he came to the first, and said, Son, go work to day in my vineyard. He answered and said, I will not: but afterward he repented, and went. And he came to the second, and said likewise. And he answered and said, I go, sir: and went not. Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first...." [Matthew 21:28-31] The openness, honesty, and integrity of the first son is very refreshing. Too often we are prone to make promises we have no intention of keeping to look good in the eyes of others or to say things we think others want to hear just to keep them happy. How much better it is to say, "No I will not do it" and then on reflection, actually go and do that thing we ought to have done. Huxley said, "Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do when it is to be done, whether you like it or not."
Many years ago I was at a party on a Friday evening at the home of Dr. Wayne Triplett, a member of our stake. He was an avid bike rider and was in great physical shape -- he looked like he had been chiseled out of granite. He was telling me about some of the bike trips he had taken and I foolishly, trying to be nice and make polite conversation, told him how fun it sounded and that I wished I could do something like that. He asked me what I was doing the next morning at 6 a.m. and not being able to think of anything I mumbled "Nothing". He told me he had an extra bike in his garage and that he would like to take me on a ride. Well, I had put my foot in my mouth and so the next morning, like a lamb being led to the slaughter, I followed Wayne Triplett from his home in Tustin all the way to Laguna Beach and back. Pedaling up Laguna Canyon I thought I would die but every time he would look back at me I would manage to give him a sickly grin. I couldn't sit down for several days after that experience but had learned a valuable lesson. Never say anything you don't really mean and plan on doing!
Well, how fortunate we are to know people who can deliver a message to Garcia and how we should strive to deliver that same message ourselves.
Dad/Grandpa/Jack
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